That hospital’s staff was professional and polite in all their dealings with us. When our second child was born (at a different hospital), we were very proactive about making sure that the hospital got the vital information correct. THAT really burned us up and THAT took even more time to correct. If something were to happen to my husband, my child would not be considered his survivor. But worse, the vital records department had passed on the original information - sans-father - to the Social Security Administration. WHAT?! It turns out that the hospital staff took it upon themselves to assume that my husband and I were in fact not married so therefore omitted all of the father’s information.Getting the birth certifcate corrected took some effort. We called to ask why and we told it was because we were not married. When we received our son’s birth certificate from our county’s vital records department, only the mother’s information appeared. When our first child was born and we filled out the paperwork naming him and providing parental information for both parents. Well, we did have one other, pretty serious problem with our having different last names. Women were dependent on men’s incomes before we started to have work options, so getting married early and well was paramount. You didn’t say “congratulations” to a newly married woman because it could sound like “congratulations, you finally landed a man!”īack in the day, it was a rare woman who didn’t get married right away and in her early 20s so as not become a spinster. I don’t think the gender differences were meant to not be equal, I think they were based more on where women were at the time. That’s what makes this all so interesting.Īlyssa, I agree, the gender bias can be off putting and I like that you try to follow being considerate and courteous to all. Tiffany, I don’t think you are alone, even in your generation that you like being addressed as “Mrs. So they obviously think Arden is a male name and I’m the Mr. Arden Clise (my husband’s last name is Mamroth). I didn’t take my husband’s last name although funny enough, we will sometimes get mail addressed to Mr. I think back in their day a woman’s identity truly was through her husband because so few women worked outside the home. Lesie, it’s so interesting that your grandmothers loved it and you don’t. If you have previously received these blog posts through Feedburner, please subscribe to receive these blog posts through the form below and unsubscribe to the posts you receive through Feedburner. Please note: We have a new method of delivering blog posts to your inbox. Brad Jones”? Married women, do you prefer being called “Mrs.” or “Ms.”? Do you agree with my suggestion or do you have others? What do you think? Would you be offended if you received an invitation addressed to “Mr. For an informal occasion, simply, “Jane and Brad Jones”. Brad Smith.” According to Robert Hickey, an expert on titles and forms of address, that is the proper and respectful way to address a married couple in a formal way. Everyone else I would address thusly: For a formal occasion, “Ms. If the married couple is older – as in in their 70s or older – and you know for sure they are traditional, I would go ahead and address the envelope as “Mr. Many women were very uncomfortable with being addressed by their husband’s first and last name. I posed the question to the World Wide Web and I saw many iterations, much disagreement and some heated comments. Do women still want to be addressed as “Mrs.” or is “Ms.” just fine, thank you very much? Brad Jones”?Īnd that begs another question. Jane and Brad Jones”? “Jane and Brad Jones”? “The Jones”? “Mrs. But how do you address a married couple that has the same last name? “Mrs. That seems perfectly modern and appropriate because each has their own identity. When a married couple does not share the same last name the proper way to address an envelope is “Ms. I have been grappling with how to approach this. The tradition of addressing women by their husband’s name seems very old fashioned and sexist. Much has changed since Emily Post wrote her bestselling book “ Etiquette” in 1922. My sister meant no offense and was simply following envelope addressing protocol. She stated she has her own identity separate from my dad. However, my step-mother was not pleased with being called “Mrs. That is the proper way to address an envelope to a married couple. A few years ago, my sister addressed an envelope to my dad and step-mom as “Mr.
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